Why I gave up the NC Coast for Charlotte...twice

Why I gave up the NC Coast for Charlotte…Twice

I am a coastal guy.  I adore every season at the beach, probably Fall most of all.  That crisp feel in the morning as the sun is rising over the ocean with the salty wind permeating you to your core.  The sounds, the smells, the sights – the coast has a way of gripping you and once it does, it does not let go…ever.

I had the privilege of visiting the coast often as a child.  Growing up in Durham, we escaped to the coast as a family throughout the year, and each time we left, I craved to go back.  Spending large parts of my summer’s visiting an Aunt in Wrightsville Beach, an Uncle in Emerald Isle, and a summer camp on the Neuse River; those experiences fueled my love for the coast. 

When it came time to choose a college, UNC-Wilmington quickly became the frontrunner.  With my Jeep Wrangler loaded to the springs, I moved to Wilmington and started college.  By October of my freshman year, I’m not sure my top and doors had been put back on my jeep once.  I spent more hours trying to educate myself on the art of wooing the largest concentration of attractive girls I had ever seen than I did in a classroom.  Life was great.  Our daily routines revolved around tides and sun as opposed to classes and studying.  My transition to becoming a permanent resident at the coast was complete.  I never wanted to leave. 

Sailfish caught with Bryan (Squid) circa 2008

Graduating in 2007 was an interesting time to join the workforce.  The writing was on the wall of what was happening economically, but my ego was telling me I didn’t need to follow a traditional routine to become financially successful.  So right out of college, I had found my absolute dream job: yacht broker.  I became a floating real estate agent with a waterfront office three doors from The Dockside restaurant in Wrightsville Beach.  Life got even better!  Our “company car”, the 23-foot flat-bottom skiff outside our door, became our means of transportation around the beach.  I was fortunate enough to sell a decent number of boats, and worked on deals from The Florida Keys, to Panama and Dubai.  My passport was filling up with stamps, and I was spending time at the boat shows hobnobbing with client’s way above my tax bracket. 

By late 2008, we had all seen things start to change.  I’ll never forget being at the Ft Lauderdale Boat Show and being invited on a yacht way above my client base, but who turns down the chance to step onto a $20M yacht? Not this guy!  By the end of the tour, the broker was asking for a customer to bring a $10M offer to the table, as the owner was becoming that desperate to unload the liability from his balance sheet. 

Sales dropped off a cliff, and it seemed the only thing that increasing in Wrightsville Beach in late 2008/early 2009 was everyone’s alcohol consumption.   It was time for a change.  I looked around at the exact same faces every weekend knowing there has got to be more than being a washed-up yacht broker by age 25. 

Pig Pickin' where it all started for Geena and I

Fall of 2009 I moved to Charlotte for the first time.  I stayed in the guest room of a friend for the first two months while looking for work and a place to live.  Still not quite ready to give in to a suit and tie, I became fascinated with the franchise model and through some introductions ended up back in the restaurant business with a local Qdoba franchisee.  My idea was to grow with this group as they had big plans for growth or to learn the model and one day go out on my own.  This period is when life really hit the gas.  I met the love of my life in Charlotte and before long we were married and had our first daughter. 

Geena and I when I talked her into being my wedding date (and meeting my entire family)

One of the first things my wife and I shared was our love for the coast.  Geena spent a large portion of her upbringing on the beaches of South Carolina.  We were burning up the road heading to either her coast or mine every chance we got.  Every time we left the coast to come back to Charlotte, it got harder and harder. We dreaded lunch on Sunday as that meant it was time to pack up and head back to the Queen City.  We began to plan our escape  to a coast, any coast where we could raise our daughters in pluff mud and shucking oysters.  

Charlotte was not our home.

Before I know it, we’re in 2013 and work had felt stagnant for some time.  The itch to go out on my own had been growing for over a year now.  My wife and I had kicked around all sorts of crazy ideas, investigated reviving and old Bed & Breakfast with a marina, opening restaurants, etc.  All ideas ended up being a square peg in a round hole, not matter how hard we tried to make it work.  As wedding favors, we gave out packets of a homemade seasoning blend, and before long, we had requests coming in the door by the hundreds.  After five months of mixing batches of seasoning in our dining room, we had finally found it – and our seasoning company was born.  This infant of a company became our weekend hustle as we were both still working our regular jobs. 

The deeper we got into the seasoning company, the more we realized we were craving the coast again.  With neither one of us from Charlotte, we did not feel the connection here.  We loved so many things about the city, but the calling of the ocean was getting stronger with each passing day.  By the fall of 2014 we had come to the fork where we had to decide if this seasoning company was going to be a job or a hobby.  We debated, we prayed, and we knew if there was ever going to be a time to chase a dream, it was now.  Our girls, (we had a second by this time), were young enough to be mobile and largely unaware of any hardship we could face.  We knew as they got older, it would become harder and harder to disrupt the normality of life to chase a wild and crazy dream.  So we jumped…we jumped back to the coast.  We moved our company to Wilmington and set up shop. 

We felt like we were home.  Our Sunday’s were filled with trips to the beach, collecting shells on Masonboro Island and teaching our girls the ways of the water.  We loved every bit of it. 

Harper Leigh and Rue ready for a swim!

Rue cutting a flip like always

Me and my Girls

All that glitters is not always gold.

While we loved our life at the coast and tried to keep a smile on the outside, we were crumbling on the inside.  Our business was failing.  I was failing.  My wife and I had put all our eggs, (and a lot of eggs from other people) into one basket, and the bottom fell out.  2015 turned out to be the most humbling year of my life.  (Thoughts and lesson of a failed entrepreneur will be in a future piece).  Our company had become our identity.  It was born from our wedding and we had become so emotionally invested in it, we didn’t know how to cope with losing it.  Everything we had planned, envisioned, worked for was now gone.

Back to reality.

We moved on.  I went into finance at a car dealership and we started to dig out of the funk we lingered in since closing the shop.  Life seemed to get back on track – somewhat.  There was still a piece missing and it took us another year and a half to put a finger on it.  My wife and I found ourselves in a situation we never expected.  All the things we found ourselves gravitating too could not be fulfilled in Wilmington.  We had worked so hard to get here, so what was missing?  We were close to the coast, close to family, and had a great group of friends.  Are we just complaining?  What was the true underlying issue?  What were we looking for?

Charlotte, we were looking for Charlotte. 

What was it about Charlotte that became an inescapable magnet?  It took us a few months to be able to process thoughts into words and actions, because it was such a curve ball.  The couple that spent the basis of their relationship trying to get to the coast is now wanting to get back to Charlotte?  Are we crazy?  What happened? 

What Geena and I didn’t realize when we moved to Wilmington is that we had been touched by the Queen’s Scepter.  Charlotte has a special magic to it that’s hard to describe.  This city is a melting pot.  However, it’s still North Carolina.  Running into a native Charlottean is becoming a rarer occurrence these days.  But the charm and hospitality that North Carolina is known for still abounds.  There are big city feels and conveniences without as much attitude.  You can make this city what you want it to be.  You want to live in anonymity and stay in your bubble, you can.  But you can also wave your flag as loud as you want to, and it’s accepted.  The strange influence of larger cities is finding cohesion with the charm of southern hospitality.  What was once a fairly rigid city of bankers and white tablecloth steak houses has willingly given way to the influence of chef driven concepts and micro-breweries.  You have men doing yoga (I’m now one of them) before heading to a board meeting.  Charlotte knows how to nurture ambition and give legs to those aspiring for greatness.  It’s competitive, youthful and clean.  We host movers and shakers who still know how to say yes sir and respect their elders.  It’s a unique environment with an incredible location.  It’s no wonder there are more and more companies looking to relocate here. 

This ‘magic’ Charlotte possess couldn’t be found in Wilmington.  The coast loves to be the coast, and for good reason - life moves slower there.  I would dare to say opportunity is almost capped there.  The coast is what is it, and there is only going to be so much that comes in and shakes the trees.  For that reason, those who come to the coast are accepting what life at the coast can give, and we wanted more.  We wanted more for our girls (we now have 3!), we want more for us as a couple.  I wanted more professionally.  Charlotte provides a level of diversity the coast could never provide. The experiences my daughters have access to here are endless.  We want to raise our girls in an environment that’s southern with a healthy dose of cosmopolitan.  They will never be strangers to getting their hands in the mud searching for clams at the coast, but here we can also provide them the ability to experience the growing culture Charlotte has to offer.

Sunday walk on the greenway

Last November we moved back to the Queen City.  The first day we woke up here, my wife and I looked at each other and said: “we’re home”.  For the first time since leaving for college, I feel at home.  Life has taken us on a wild ride, (that hasn’t stopped yet), but it has firmly planted us here, in Charlotte.  This is the city where we met, fell in love, started our business and ultimately started our life together.   

This is the city where we will live our life together.

When we look back at our time since we got married, we have made a lot of choices.  A lot of people did not agree with the choices we made.  They were atypical, against the grain on what’s considered “normal”.  Some of those choices have cost us a lot of money.  The one thing we agree on is that we do not regret a single choice we’ve made.  All of those choices have helped check all of the boxes that lead us back here.  We have scratched our itch.  Our itch to live at the coast, to start a company, to take risks.  We’ve done that.  Without scratching that itch, we would not be sitting here as content as we are. 

Charlotte is home.

Girls and their skyline poses